Saving Marriages With Unconditional Love
In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.
A number of people in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, diamond jewellery or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these people, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
To make your marriage more rewarding, cast a look over:
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.
So what is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.
But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.
Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.
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Previously Said...
After 20 some years of marriage, my husband & I have come to terms that his parent’s have caused us much harm. We use to contribute a lot of it to his dad, but after his dad passed away we realized his mom was mischevious and self serving in all so many situations. So much so that her selfish need’s almost ruined our love, family & marriage.
Beware !
The scope of a mother in law being ruthless with a smile on her face can last a life time.
Un-conditional love does not mean giving all of your self away. That was our mistake. Love requires knowledge of accessing right and wrong, forgiveness and growth. However life requires fair-ness, consideration,and honesty.
I believe the best love is to realize that you and your husband come first. Like doormate, my husband and I have tried and tried….. only to be lied to and left out time and time again The worst part for us is when his entire family treated our son who is a wheel chair unbelievably! His sister is an HR director, other sister’s husband a manager for a large retail grocer/discount store and they thought it was perfectly appropriate to carry our son up a double flight of stairs verses plan an event in rooms he could already get into. Then when we said it wouldn’t work - attacked us for always being difficult. We have had 20 years of marriage that has always had strife in it - not because of us, but because of hurt from others. We are done. Our door is now closed to all of them. True love between a husband and wife I have come to learn is learning when to say enough is enough - we do not owe anyone our dignity. We no longer owe any of his family our dignity when none of them can count to 6 (the number of people in his family.) We have gone so far as to block his sisters from being able to call into our home.
Its a good start, but you need trust, compassion, respect, honesty, determination (knowing there will be stressful times and you will overcome them), humor, passion, and probably a few I am missing.The mostly out of love with wanting to belong to the one they love. It also provides security for the present as well as the future. Marriage in the medieval days was to ensure the family name was carried forward and also for some it was to ensure their wealth stayed in the family.
In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
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